Grazie a   m o u n i

SOCIALISM:

 You have two cows.

 You keep one and give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes them both and provides you with milk.


 FASCISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes them and sells you the milk.


BUREAUCRACY:

You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one, milks

 the other, pays you for

the milk, and then pours it down the drain.



CORPORATE:

You have two cows.

You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of

four cows, then act

surprised when it drops dead.



DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point that you must

sell them both in order

to support a man in a foreign country who has only

one cow, which was itself

a gift from your government in the first place.



FEUDALISM:

You have two cows.

Your lord takes some of the milk.



PURE COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.

Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you

all share the milk.



 APPLIED COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.

You have to take care of them, but the government

takes all the milk.


DICTATORSHIP:

You have two cows.

The government takes both and shoots you.


Mexican DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

The government takes both, shoots you and sends the

cows to Zurich.



MILITARISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes both and drafts you into the army.



PURE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

All your neighbours decide who gets the milk.


REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

Your neighbours pick someone who will tell you who

gets the milk.



AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:

The government promises to give you two cows, if you

vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for

speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate",

but supports the president. The cow sues you for breach of

contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You

settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.



BRITISH DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The

government doesn't do anything.


FRENCH DEMOCRACY

 
You have two cows.

You feed them human sewage. Your government bans

British beef as it is unhealthy.



EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

At first the government regulates what you can feed

them and when you can milk them.

Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both,

shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down

the drain.

Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for

the missing cows.


CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,

and the economy grows.

You retire on the income, while the rest of the

world starves.



TOTALITARIANISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes them and denies they ever

existed. Milk is banned.


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